


I won't go home without You

by ao_no_uma



Series: On the other side of the wall [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force rituals, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9810230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ao_no_uma/pseuds/ao_no_uma
Summary: Hux is stuck in the other universe. And Kylo will tear this and any other world apart to reunite with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it took so long.
> 
>    
> Again, huge thanks to Jathis for help!
> 
>  
> 
> Title comes from the song “Won’t go home without you” by Maroon 5.

The sudden disappearance of General Hux and Kylo Ren and later the capture of  _Finalizer_  was a hard blow in the solar plexus of the First Order. Nonetheless Hux wasn’t the only capable commander. The Order still had a group of highly skilled officers scattered across ships and bases in the whole galaxy. After the Resistance’s attack on  _Finalizer_ , the Order’s high command decided to conceal their forces in desolated regions of the Outer Rim and wait for a chance to strike the Republic at the right moment. The unspoken ceasefire allowed the Resistance to catch their breath and Leia Organa to focus her energy on attempts of mending the Republic alliance, still strained by the destruction of the Hosnian planets. 

Things have become relatively right.

Until that particular night when the lights of the whole Resistance’s base on Irons suddenly light up and everyone in the cell block complex, both guardians and prisoners, fall on the ground without consciousness, clutching at their aching heads.

Kylo is well acquainted with the feeling of being torn apart. Since he could remember, there have been two Forces mercilessly tugging him in opposite directions. Yet it was nothing compared to what he’s feeling now. He has finally broken in half, two flames of two Forces steadily burning down the remains of him, stoked with his anger and pain and the memory of Hux’s words. He could sense his power roaming free in the whole building, hurting people and destroying electronics, but he doesn’t care. Those people don’t matter, only Hux, alone in the foreign universe and still loving him.

He might be shouting; his throat is as raw as an open wound.

The door to his cell opens and three guardians enter. Ren only needs to wink from where he kneels curled on the ground to incapacitate these men with the Force. Above him, the light bulbs in the ceiling blow up and hundreds of glass pieces fall on the floor. The walls of the whole building vibrate with his powers. He senses more soldiers approaching and knocks them down before they even reach the entrance.

His skin breaks in a thousand places like cracked leather. Blood vessels explode, pouring overwhelming heat all over his body. His bones fracture. All of his nerves fire up shortly and die out like fried circuits. He cries with bloody tears. He’s dying, surrounded and oppressed by the flame of his own power, consuming him to ashes.

 

 

And in the eye of the storm, the Force whispers to him, shows him a vision.

And immediately Kylo knows what he must do.

 

Suddenly, it’s all over. He stands up on shaky legs; his body unharmed despite all of the anguish he experienced. The battle of Light and Dark inside him, lasting for his whole life, ceases at once and both powers merge together perfectly under his command. He is finally able to grasp the balance he was searching for for years. The potential of united Forces is overwhelming. It sings in his veins and tingles the surface of skin with tiny sparkles, making everything glow.

The storm around him eventually breaks off and only overwhelming silence is left. There’s a trail of the Force, shiny fragile thread leading out of the room and disappearing around the corner, guiding him toward his destination. Kylo takes the comm from the floor and steps over the bodies to leave the cell.

There are soldiers running in his direction. Ren waves his hand to clear the way, the Force surging at his will like the spirit of his wrath. He follows the lead the Force left for him and it doesn’t take long until he’s outside the building. Fresh air and sunlight hit him like a physical blow at first. The last time Kylo was outside his room, five years ago, he didn’t care for all of this, focused on meditation. Now, the warmth and the smell of air, full of different scents from workshop, kitchen, hangar, surrounding forests – it all feels as he experiences them for the first time in this new life, when all of the Force is at his beck and call.

‘Ben!’

Kylo stops and turns to where the shout came from. Leia strolls with measured pace toward him now, but she must have ran here from the other part of the base, her breath quickened. She looks so old, with pure white hair tied in a bun at the back of her head and bent back. Her thoughts and emotions flow freely from her, but Kylo ignores them.

She doesn’t matter anymore. Nor does the Resistance, the First Order, and this whole galaxy.

‘May the Force be with you, mother,’ he says with an unpleasantly hoarse voice and adds through the Force,  _‘I wish you luck in this war’_.

Ren resumes his walk and when Leia and others want to follow, he immobilizes them with a flick of his fingers.

There’s a spaceship waiting on the other side of the vast yard in front of the prison. It’s small and fast, probably a vessel of a messenger or spy. Kylo walks toward it at a leisurely pace. He can feel how many people struggle in his invisible ties, even though they stand no chance against the Force. He can hear Leia’s pleading him to stop, to turn, to listen to her, but he ignores all of them. The Force leads him to the ship that will take him further toward the ultimate goal.

The vessel is already ready to start. It has fully charged power cells and lots of supplies on-board, there are even clothes of right size for Ren. He closes the ship’s hatch and launches the procedure of start without a second thought. Some soldiers think of shooting him down, but Kylo knows they wouldn’t dare. And even if they dare, he can stop them. The Force is with him.

The computer asks for coordinates. Kylo enters them mindlessly, guided by the Force. He has been there, but he has never asked for coordinates nor name of the planet.

Engines fire to life and pushes the vessel up in the air and to the stars.

As euphoria drifts away, Kylo gradually calms himself down, relaxes taut muscles and evens breathing. He catches a glimpse of his own reflection in a view port. He looks terrible, much worse than Hux did. Unnaturally pale skin tight on cheekbones, beauty marks creating a heavy contrast with pallor, nose and ears even more prominent than usual. His shirt hangs loosely on his shoulders, bony collarbones peeking from behind a hem. Fingers laid flat on the console are thinner than he remembers.

Status monitor shows that the flight will take 18 hours. Kylo leans back in the seat, savoring the feeling of balance in his soul, steady and unwavering, just like he wanted it to be for over thirty years.

Serenity. For the first time in his life, his soul is calm.

He closes his eyes and enters the ethereal world of the Force through the meditation. It’s so different now, as if he possessed a new sense or started to see new colours. The Force unfolds its secret for him. It’s intoxicating.

Ren comes back to the material world and stands up from the seat, his legs uncomfortably stiff. He refreshes himself, changes clothes and comes back to the cockpit. The flight will take quite some time and he needs to consult the Force about the next steps.

*          *

When the ship breaks the atmosphere of the planet Kylo switches to manual control. The weather is as violent as he remembers it - merciless winds tugging at the vessel’s wings and thunder booming all around. Young Kylo used to be scared of this vicious aura, or maybe it was the resident of the planet of whom he was frightened. Anyway, he wasn’t afraid anymore.

Ren gratefully steers the vessel until it touches the surface of a stone terrace. He can hardly see a low, angular shape of a castle in front of him. Black stone walls are wet from constant rains and gleam ominously in the ship’s lights. The sinister look of the building terrified Kylo when he first came here too, but now the familiar view of his years-long home only encouraged him to enter the building, away from the tempest.

Kylo strolls with a steady pace through gloomy corridors lit only by scarce glowing crystals embedded in the walls, each of his steps echoing in the emptiness. He senses the castle’s servants running away from the Master of the Knights of Ren into deeper parts of the building. It seems they still remember better to hide from him when he’s angry.

He reaches his destination. Massive doors open at his will without a single gesture. There’s no lamp to enlighten the enormous hall, but Kylo doesn’t need it; he’s well acquainted with room. He walks inside and steps between two rows of columns rising up the ceiling so high it’s unseen.

He knows that ahead Snoke awaits him on his throne.

A single glowing panel in the wall behind and above the throne allows Ren to see his master, pale as usual, wrapped in dark robes, sitting on a black stone chair.

‘Kylo Ren’ Supreme Leader rasps with a low voice at the sight of his apprentice. ‘You’ve finally returned to reality.’

Kylo stays silent and stops ten steps in front of the throne.

‘I see you have found the harmony of your powers at last’ Snoke continues. ‘I have made a mistake assuming Han Solo was the dearest person to you. If I knew it was this general, I would have ordered to kill him earlier.’

Ren flinches.

‘Yes, my apprentice, I was aware of your trysts since the very beginning. I sensed it when you became more emotionally involved in those meetings, but I presumed he’d chase you away from his bedroom as soon as he discovered it himself.’

Kylo still doesn’t move nor speak, only gathers the Force around him, ready to use.

‘He’s as good as dead now. Now, that you have mastered your powers, you can finally track down Skywalker and crush him and his pupil.’

‘They don’t matter anymore’ Kylo speaks for the first time. His voice still sounds unfamiliar, hoarse from five years of silence.

Snoke grimaces, making his face seem even more contorted, but his voice is still cold and collected.

‘You are just a child, Kylo. A child I gave shelter and taught how to use their talent. Insolent child needing to be reminded of their place.’

Snoke stands up sharply. He’s taller than Kylo, his body lean and twisted beneath many layers of clothes. He may look fragile, but Ren is well aware Snoke is gravely dangerous.

‘I won’t allow you to use me anymore,’ Kylo bares his teeth. He maintains a balance between calmness and fury, and forges them into a weapon he can use against the Supreme Leader. ‘It’s you possessing something I need.’

‘I won’t tolerate your disobedience any longer,’ Snoke hisses and raises his right arm, fingers splayed like claws.

Kylo senses the Force condense around Snoke and strikes first. With a wave of his hand his power surges ahead, freezing Snoke in place like a statue cut from marble and obsidian. His master struggles in invisible ties, and Ren only makes it hold him tighter. Immobilizing Snoke is much more challenging than holding all of the personnel of the Resistance base, but wielding the power of merged Forces, Kylo is able to finally overpower his master.

Ren languidly steps closer until their chests nearly touch. Kylo watches with mere interest how anger in Snoke’s eyes slowly transforms into confusion and then into panic when he realizes he’s underestimated his apprentice and lost against him. Which means he’ll be dead soon.

Since the day he’s met Snoke in person, Kylo suspected Snoke must be some kind of alien species. His height and body build, how he was able to survive wounds that left him so deformed. But the most obvious was his age. Snoke told Kylo numerous stories of the Jedi Knight’s order and even older formations of Force users so vividly as if he had lived among them long before the Old Republic’s fall. Adding countless years spent on learning about Force, Snoke possessed vast knowledge of many secrets. That was exactly what Kylo needs from his master now.

Ren raises his hand mimicking Snoke’s posture. It used to help him to concentrate the powers required to enter someone’s mind. Now it’s pointless as he can easily manipulate the Force, he does it out of habit.

Snoke opens his mouth to shout soundlessly when his apprentice cuts his mind open with the Force. The process of extracting one’s thoughts is never pleasant but Kylo’s never cared for his victims’ comfort. Nor did Snoke during his training, subjecting Kylo to even worse pains.

Ren sifts through Snoke’s memories, searching for every bit regarding the Force. He’s aware it’s agony for his former master but pays it no attention. Kylo takes his time to absorb every piece of information he’s looking for, ignoring when Snoke starts to convulse. Once he’s finished, he retreats from the husk of Snoke’s mind before he thrusts his hand right into Supreme Leader’s chest with a blank face and curls his fingers loosely around a wildly beating heart.

He’s genuinely surprised to find the organ.

Without hesitance he closes his fist. Snoke jerks heavily and leans his head back, unable to draw a single sound. Ren gazes as his former master’s eyes darken and roll back once the heart in his hand stops throbbing. 

Kylo retracts a bloodied hand and lets his former master’s body fall on the ground in front of the throne.

*          *

Kylo finds himself in his old bedchamber.

Everything looks exactly as he has left it years ago, ready for his return.

He enters a small bathroom, briefly wondering if the water still runs. Apparently servants still sustain the castle properly - there’s a steady flow of chilly water leaking from the tap. He cleans his hands and face thoroughly, wiping away all remains of Snoke’s blood. He needs to change his stained clothes too, though he doesn’t want to return to the ship yet. Reluctantly, he opens a small cabinet beside the bed and pulls out his old robes. They look untouched, just a little dusty. Ren would prefer sitting bare-chested than putting them on again, but his body is weakened and catching a cold would only disagree with his plans. Surprisingly, pulling familiar rough material over his head brings unexpected relief.

There was so much to do, but Kylo’s body has reached its limits, exhaustion creeping along his limbs and settling at the back of his head. He carefully sinks on his bed; it’s as solid and uncomfortable as he remembers. He settles himself properly and closes his eyes. He senses how servants move in various directions performing their usual duties, but no one approaches the throne hall or Kylo’s room. Ren allows himself to drift into dreamless sleep.

He wakes up three hours later, just enough to maintain his body’s usefulness. He splashes his face with freezing water and goes straight to the meditation chamber. The room is so cramped Kylo can barely fit himself in a meditation pose on the floor, but the ceiling is high and barely visible. Kylo closes his eyes and listens to the silence till he hears the faintest hums. He puts a hand on the wall and feels it vibrating. Between stone bricks, tiny shards of Force-attuned crystals are set in the walls to help to focus on the Force and aid meditation. Ren’s new powers hum a pleasant melody that lulls him into a trance. He spends many hours contemplating information stolen from Snoke’s mind, each piece separately, often asking the Force for help to understand. Unfortunately, he finds only hints of what he needs.

The next place to visit is the library. Kylo always liked this room full of tall cabinets filled with various volumes, its silence and how the Force gathered around ancient tomes. Snoke mentioned he obtained only parts of books, the rest were left by the previous owner of the castle, some nameless Sith lord.

Kylo lets the Force guide him between bookcases and picks a couple of titles. Some of these are written in a language he doesn’t know, but when he smooths the pages with his fingertips the Force whispers to him through the unknown letters. He sits by the low table in the middle of the room and grabs the first tome to read.

He studies textbooks until he can’t keep his eyes open any longer. He hadn’t even worked through half of the books he piled up on the table, and more tomes still wait on shelves.

With a groan Ren rubs his eyelids. There was so much to do. Impatience burns him to continue the work even when his body refuses.

 

He easily falls into routine: he wakes up, reads in the library and when his eyes start to burn from exertion, he meditates about gathered knowledge. Then he sleeps for several hours and repeats the cycle. It’s hard to tell how long it lasts; there’s no difference between day and night on this planet, a thick layer of storm clouds obscures the sky all the time creating constant night.

After ten or so cycles Kylo has finally gathered all of the information he needs, the most vital parts noted down on a sheet of paper. His plan requires only one more element, which is to be acquired inside his ship. Kylo leaves the meditation chamber and goes straight to his vessel. He’s spent quite some time on board lately because he prefers to rest there than in his old bedchamber.

Ren sits comfortably in pilot’s seat and opens a map of the whole known galaxy. The ritual he wants to carry out requires an enormous amount of the Force and one of the textbooks suggests to perform it in the place with remarkable connection the Force. Kylo has many destinations in mind – diverse planets, ancient temples, kyber caves. He marks them all on the map, making a holo showered with green dots. During hours of consideration, he continuously removes localizations until there are only three left.

He looked at a tiny dot on the other side of Outer Rim belt. Dagobah. A legendary place where his uncle was taught the ways of Jedi by the old Jedi Master. Back as Luke’s student, Kylo had heard a story of his training multiple times. How the whole planet, every tree and blade of grass pulse with the Force, every swampy pond’s surface ripples with energy, how the air itself sings.

Ren closes his eyes and listens to the silence until he hears the answer.

The Force has spoken. The ritual must occur on Dagobah.

Kylo sets the start procedures and enters Dagobah as the destination. He starts off from the unnamed planet without regret, knowing he would never return there.

The flight takes much longer, as it leads across a half of the galaxy. During the trip Kylo mostly meditates to store energy for future use or consults his notes about the ritual. Only few have tried to do what he wants to do and no one accomplished it, but he’s sure with new powers he’d be the first to achieve the goal.

*          *

Four cycles later Kylo lands the vessel on the only solid patch of land in the radius of a thousand miles. Dagobah climate is not friendly to spaceships; Ren remembers Luke’s story of how his ship sank in a bog. He doesn’t want to bury the ship, not yet. Even if the vessel will never take off from this planet again.

It’s daytime when he arrives, though the sun can be hardly seen through the dense tree canopy. The very first step Kylo takes to walk down the hatch the hot humid air hits him like a punch. He’s soaked in sweat in an instant. He never liked jungle planets.

Ren takes a deep breath. Sultry air clogs his lungs, but there’s a sweet fresh scent in it, like the smell of freshly cut grass. Kylo closes his eyes and listens. At first everything is still; then the silent splashes join in, the various sounds made by unseen insects, even some bird’s high-pitched chirps. Lastly, he notices vibrations, barely audible, both heard and felt in the ground.

He lets the Force wash over him and for the first time since his escape from Irons, Kylo feels overwhelmed by its power. 

It feels as if whole galaxy is just a shallow gulf of still water and Dagobah is an ocean’s depth where powerful currents constantly throw and spin around every victim who dares to dive in it.

Kylo is now sure Dagobah is right choice.

He itches to start the ritual right now, but there’s still so much to prepare. He sits with crossed legs where he stands and spends a few hours in a trance. Dagobah’s Force is inhospitable, if not hostile, and Ren needs quite some time to get attuned to it properly. Once he’s sure he’s perfectly able to channel the planet’s energy, Kylo briefly returns to the ship. He fetches his notes and, after quick consideration, sheds all of his clothes.

Naked, he walks out of ship and kneels by the shallow pond nearest the ship. He submerges his right hand in soil on its bottom and lifts quickly so his fingers are stained with mud, with which he paints the first rune on his left bicep, consulting its shape with notes. He repeats staining fingers and painting until he completes every single sign mentioned in the book. They’re placed on his arms and legs, chest, middle of abdomen and face. The last two he draws on the back of both hands. The symbols aren’t exactly a part of his ritual; Kylo bumped into them while carding through Snoke’s books. They just ought to enhance the ability to manipulate the Force. The book advises to create them with a material somehow connected to the Force: ashes of a Force user, pulverized crystals, blood of Force-sensitive animals. Kylo decided soil of a planet like Dagobah should work too.

He moves back and sits near his ship in a meditation pose on the ground. It’s uncomfortable, but very few things about the Force are comfortable. Dried mud pinches at his skin, already covered with a fresh film of sweat. It’s still too hot and humid to breathe freely and Ren’s stomach begins to contract from hunger. All of it is about to end.

Since he heard about them from uncle Luke, young Kylo –  _Ben_  – was fascinated with the idea of Force Ghosts. He secretly wished to make contact with his admired grandfather, to meet his ghost and ask him all those questions appearing in the middle of sleepless night, but Anakin has never come. Teenage Kylo asked Snoke about ghosts for the very same reason. Snoke was more eager to explain the topic to his apprentice than Luke. It was when Kylo acknowledged the Force users can stay in material world even after death, opposing to complete dissolution in the Force. Both option requires one’s demise, but a few madmen tried to unite with the Force alive and then materialize again in the world of the living.

That was exactly what Kylo plans to do.

No one was able to reappear from the Force. Also perhaps no one held the balance of the Force like Kylo does.

Ren breathes in deeply. Once he starts, there’s no return. It’s about swimming or sinking; he’ll reach another universe through the Force or die trying. But he’ll never return to this galaxy again. He has nothing to lose.

Breathe out and Kylo starts to gather the Force.

It’s very slow process. Kylo hoards every spark of energy thoroughly, repeatedly checking if everything is as it ought to be. His whole body becomes numb, neglecting physical stimuli his nerves provide. He forgets about the heat, discomfort, hunger, burning of muddy runes on the skin. There’s only all-present Force.

When it whispers  _Now_ , Kylo releases stored energy all at once.

First, his eardrums burst in a deafening explosion and he’s enveloped in silence. Next, his limbs cease to exist. It starts with an unpleasant tingling that transforms into unbearable burning as if he was thrown into a volcano, all the cells of his body melting and its particles merging with the Force. He’s tempted to open his eyes but he knows he mustn’t. Pain is not a novel idea for him, but even the worst of Snoke’s torture was a fraction of his current anguish. He begs the Force for help, to endure this and what’s coming.

Dagobah’s surrounding in his consciousness whitens into blankness. There’s a single bright point coming from the ship, like a beacon. The comm, Kylo realizes.

Hux.

The Force creeps higher, claiming his torso. When it reaches to internal organs, Kylo curls in on himself in convulsion. This is the very moment his body dies, but his soul still resides on the surface of Dagobah, incomplete. He must carry on the ritual.

Pain gradually fades away as his body eventually dematerializes. He stops to sense the surroundings too.

The Force enfolds him. He lets it and submits to it, fuses with it.

 

 

 

Kylo imagines opening his eyes, though he doesn’t have them anymore.

A green light. The only thing he’s able to process.

He performs the equivalent of moving. Wherever he is, the idea of motion as the physical change of position over time doesn’t exist here. As does time.

There’s nothing there beyond green light, himself and the Force.

_Hux._

Ren tries to navigate in all-present green, but it feels as if he turns around in one place. At the same time he moves and stays in one place.

Anxiety slowly grew in the bottom of where his stomach used to be.

He won’t fail now. He just can’t. He needs to move from there, even if he’d be just a ghost and grimly follow Hux for the rest of his days, unnoticed by his non-Force sensitive beloved.

_All is as the Force wills it_.

The Force has brought him here for a reason.

Kylo imagines closing eyes and listens to the silence with deaf ears. The Force has the answers so he waits for them. There’s no hurry in a place with no time.

 

 

 

Armitage Hux opens the cabinet and picks up the bottle of his favourite Corellian whiskey he saved for special occasions like today. He has finalized a lucrative contract with an influential warlord from Mid Rim, the payment for his service is even higher than he expected and he was introduced to a few important figures. He pours himself a drink and swallows it in one gulp, the liquid burning in his throat pleasantly.

He managed another small step. That’s the way his father taught him – to make small steps to accomplish great plans. To climb the ranks until he’s general in charge of Starkiller base. But there’s no great plan now. Only living from job to job, since there’s no way to contact Ren anymore.

He pours another drink and consumes it as quickly as the previous one. He has six hours to rest before he flies to an unnamed outpost to acquire the cargo.

He turns toward the refresher when the his head explodes. Hux falls on the ground face first, limp, unable to move from the agony. There’s a hand of a thousand fingers piercing his mind with sharpened claws, clutching at his very soul.

Whatever’s happening, he’s dying. He can even hear Kylo’s voice calling his name.

He’d gladly die if Ren awaits him on the other side.

_Hux._

The single word shines like a beacon in a black sea of pain.

_Hux. I’m sorry it hurts. It’s me. I’m here, with you._

_Ren?_ , Hux cannot speak, even thinking aches.

_Yes, it’s me. I’m a… Kind of ghost. I needed to anchor myself to you so I won’t drift away in the Force._

Hux lets out a miserable whine. Ren. There’s Ren somewhere there, unseen, incorporeal, but present. 

_Hux, you’re not dying, it’s just. Your head is cramped, with two minds there, and it hurts. I’ll try to materialize my body now. If I fail, I’ll probably stay like this, as a Force being. You won’t see me, but I hope I’ll be able to stay by your side._

Hux can barely process Kylo’s words. He’s inside his head. Attempting to materialize. Stay by his side.

He’ll withstand every pain to be with Ren for just a moment.

_Go on. I’m with you_ , Hux managed to think.

 

It takes hours, if not days. Hux lies on the floor unable to move. His own sorrow mingles with Kylo’s pain of recreating his body. Eventually the ache begins to dull. Through the bloody mist Hux watches as beside him a shadow of Ren’s body gradually solidifies. When the pain is only an uncomfortable pressure behind his eyes, he slides his hand to lace his fingers with Ren’s.

‘Hux.’

Armitage opens his eyes. He must have lost consciousness at some point.

Kylo lies beside him, naked, skin covered in weird black signs. His body is a wreck, but it’s undeniably Ren’s body; Hux recognizes all those scars he’s mapped late at night in his bed with his fingers and lips, and that tired smile.

Hux reminds himself to breathe.

Ren scoots forward and embraces Hux. He’s shivering from exhaustion and cold.

‘Kylo.’

Hux presses his face into the crook of Ren’s neck. His body shudders with a sob, and Kylo hugs him closer.

‘It’s me. I’m here.’ Ren murmurs continuously. His hand wanders higher and tangles itself in Hux’s hair, so soft without gelling, just as he remembers it.

‘I knew you’d find a way,’ Hux whimpers. Hot tears slip from his eyes.

In answer Kylo cups his head with both hands and kisses him hard. They’re both warm, pliant and familiar. They’re both alive. Together.

‘I love you,’ Hux whispers to Ren’s lips. ‘That’s what I wanted to say that day.’

‘I know.’

Hux’s hands move on their own, unbuttoning his shirt and opening it. He clings to Ren, weaves their legs together and props his forehead on his shoulder, still sobbing. Kylo pets his hair, lowers his hand to give his back long strokes, savoring the sound of his own and Hux’s heartbeats.

‘I knew you would do it,’ Hux murmurs with lips wet from tears pressed to Ren’s collarbone. ‘When you said that you were looking for me in the Force. I was sure you’d eventually find me. But I never dared to hope we’ll meet again. In reality.’

Kylo only smiles in answer, too tired to create a coherent reply.

They lie together like this on the floor until Hux calms himself down. Then he moves back and sudden horror appears on his face.

‘Kylo, what have you… Look at you! Did you plan to starve yourself to death?!’ he accuses, poking at Ren’s bony shoulder and protruding hipbones with his forefinger. ‘It was always you to be concerned about my health, can you not take care of yourself?!’

‘I’ve been eating,’ Ren answers, half-insulted. ‘I’ve just been less active, for past years. As I said, I spent them meditating. It includes sitting in one place.’

Hux snorts and props himself up, buttoning his shirt.

‘You’re so thin my clothes probably suit you now,’ he grumbles.

Kylo huffs with laughter. ‘Clothes are a good idea. And I’d be grateful for something to drink.’

Hux stands up and disappears from Kylo’s sight. He returns after a moment with a blanket and glass of water. He passes the glass to Kylo and covers him with the blanket.

‘Give me a second to find you some clothes. And to start the ship, I’m already a few hours behind schedule.’

Kylo bursts into sudden laughter.

‘What’s so funny?’ Hux asks, creasing his brow in confusion.

‘I missed you,’ Ren answers, grinning. Hux snorts again and leaves the room.

Kylo looks around. It must a living area of a freighter, furnished with a small bed and a few crates of personal belongings. It’s impersonal, just like Hux’s quarters back at  _Finalizer_. Hux was never a sentimental man.

Armitage returns after a brief moment and kneels by one of boxes to rummage inside it.

‘There,’ he throws soft pants and a tank top at Ren. ‘I hope they suit you, otherwise you’ll stay draped in a blanket until we land and I buy you some clothes. Good thing I have some savings, we’ll need plenty of food to make you look like yourself again.’

‘I can sleep naked. I feel like I could sleep all the way to… Where are we flying exactly?’

‘To Hutt Space. To obtain the cargo.’

Kylo nods. Tiredness seeps in his bones, making them lead-heavy. He definitely needs to rest.

Ren stands up and comes close to Hux to hug him once more. Hux immediately glues himself to Kylo. Hux wasn’t clingy, but Kylo doesn’t mind. In fact, he was grateful to feel the lean body pressed to him again. Even the new sensation of a short beard scraping the skin of his neck is weirdly welcomed.

‘Kylo. Your eyes.’ Hux gasps as he lifts his head to look at Ren.

‘What’s wrong with them?’

‘They’re… They were dark. And now there are golden threads in your irises.’

Ren huffs thoughtfully. ‘Sith masters had yellow eyes. And I… I found the balance of the Dark and Light, finally. Thanks to you. Without it, I’d never been able to come to you now.’

Hux inhales loudly, his eyes widening. He cradles Ren’s face with his hands and looks right into his eyes.

‘Kylo… Is that true? You’ve accomplished the balance?’ he whispers as if the words he speaks were blasphemy.

Kylo nods in reply, forcing himself to smile tiredly. Hux throws his arms around him and holds him tight.

‘You must tell me about all of it, but later. You can barely stand straight,’ Armitage murmurs. ‘For now, shower and bed.’

‘What about the ship?’

‘What “what about ship”? It has an autopilot, it’ll manage to fly to the outpost on its own.’

Ren smirks and lets go of Hux. He makes a short trip to the refresher to take a sonic and comes back to the room already dressed. Hux’s pants and shirt are still quite tight but comfortable enough to not confine him.

He let Hux tug him to the bed. It’s definitely too small for two grown men to lie on it, but somehow they manage to fit their bodies in the cramped alcove, covered with a single blanket.

Ren wants to stay awake as long as possible to just look at Hux, to make sure it’s not a dream or Force vision. Eventually he drifts off. On the verge of sleep, he hears a quiet “I love you” thrumming deep in the chest his head lies on.

‘I know,’ he replies groggily.

 

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, they were meant to reunite since the very beggining. I would never force myself to write it if not the happy ending.
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> Thanks for reading!


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